It can be tough to feel positive and grateful when you’re unwell – but how does our mental thought process affect our health? I share some facts along with personal experiences of the sort of support I have received by carrying out a few practices.
We all grow up with a particular mindset influenced by what we see, what we’re taught, what we experience which is then all mixed up with the characteristics we’re born with, which then evolves over time.
But in all this, what I find is that by carrying a positive belief system and by being honest, we’re mentally lighter, more hopeful and happier.
Please note, I’m not talking about exaggerated happiness and positivity – I’m talking about being realistic about your joys and being the one that is constantly creating more such joys for yourself naturally, through everyday habits.
Out of all the habits that I follow, there is one that I wish to speak of today, and that’s having gratitude.
What is Gratitude?
As the Oxford dictionary explains:
“the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.”
To add to this definition, gratitude for me is also about showing that appreciation and kindness towards yourself – that’s quite crucial, especially if you’re unwell, but more on that a little later.
Does Being Grateful Help Your Health?
I grew up in a home where I would always hear my mother thank things around the house – for example, as soon as she lay in bed, she thanked the maker of the bed, the actual bed and the fact that she had a comfortable bed to sleep in.
Mum always said “you should always show appreciation and be thankful for what you have.”
View this post on Instagram
When I was younger, I used to think that mum’s habit was such a cute one and slowly I would find myself giving the same ‘thank yous’ to the things that made life easier or for various events of the day like my favourite song playing on the radio, or that my shoes were nice and shiny for school, or that I managed to get my homework done without any hurdles, or the time spent with friends, or a walk in the park or having family that cared… and of course that bed that was always cozy and comfortable.
I never realised what this was or what it meant or even the fact that this was something that was helping me remain upbeat despite fighting the pains of endometriosis, PCOS and chronic fatigue since I was 11.
Relevant Read:
- Everything Endometriosis
- 12 Things We Should Know About PCOS
- Connection Between Endometriosis / EDS and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
It was when I was watching an episode of The Oprah Show did I realise that this was ‘The Attitude of Gratitude’ that I was performing.
When I heard her, I started to take this more seriously.
And this is what I started to do…
How To Practice Being Grateful
There are various ways to practice the attitude of gratitude and here are two of them. I’ll begin with the most potent one for me.
1. Writing It Down
Around the age of 14, I started a daily diary.
Every evening, before going to bed, I would write down a minimum of five things that happened during the day that I was grateful.
This meant I had to go over my day, be an observer – this didn’t just help me add to my list of things to be grateful for but it also meant that I could see things about my day that I didn’t notice in the pace of it all – such as, the good moments I missed out on, or something a friend said that I didn’t pay enough notice to which meant I then made a mental note to go speak to that friend the next day – this way I wasn’t ignoring someone.
And very importantly, it also made me observe my behaviour in tougher times and whether I was reacting fairly or not to others or was I letting my own issues hurt others.
It also made me observe whether I was being kind to myself.
I was battling a lot of endometriosis pain, mental exhaustion from being bullied and I was also challenged by what was expected of me – I asked myself: “did I add undue pressure on myself today?”
Just by observing and writing my daily gratitude diary I was able to understand and release so much stress and was able to focus on all those things that worked out for me in the day.
So it could be a yum breakfast, getting to school on time, being able to focus in class, learning something new and exciting, coming home to a warm home after walking through the London rains… the list some days could be endless.
But most importantly, it made me realise that despite everything – I was doing well. Life was on my side.
2. Appreciating Others
As I started to observe my days, I realised what all others did for me.
We’re always taught to say thank you to strangers – those who hold the door for us or the person who let us borrow a pen for two minutes, but I noticed that I wasn’t being thankful to those who were in my everyday life, such as my mother, friends, teachers or even the same bus conductor that made sure I got on the bus safely for school.
I started saying “thank you” more often, some times even telling my friends, teachers, family that I really appreciated all what they did for me considering the fact that I could not always contribute how I should because of my pains – the “thank yous” didn’t come from guilt or me trying to compensate for what I couldn’t do, it was more to appreciate and acknowledge that I see what others do keeping me in mind.
Read Here For:
- How to Handle Hirsutism and Acne if You Have PCOS
- My Thoughts & Tips: Chronic Illness and Relationships
I started thanking them for their support and apologising for anything wrong that I felt I had done – when you observe your day, you also see what you could have done better and that’s where saying sorry at times was necessary.
This one act made them feel good and acknowledged and it reduced the ego, improved communication and the quality of the relationship and, it also increased the happiness quotient we shared.
In fact this opened them up to being appreciative towards me too – so it worked out both ways. 🙂
I know I haven’t answered the original question… so here it is….
But How Does Being Grateful Help Our Health?
A lot of articles and studies found online will guide you to understand how beneficial being grateful is towards your physical and mental health.
It’s believed that those who are grateful have reduced aches and pains. They’re more likely to exercise and feel good about themselves.
Psychologically, Forbes state:
“Gratitude reduces a multitude of toxic emotions, ranging from envy and resentment to frustration and regret. Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., a leading gratitude researcher, has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being. His research confirms that gratitude effectively increases happiness and reduces depression.”
This is all great, but the trouble arises when you’re consistently facing bad health days, when for example; exercise – something that is meant to make you feel good ends up aggravating your health.
So, how then does gratitude play a role?
This is where I speak from personal experience.
With the two practices mentioned earlier, I experienced a reduction in aggression towards others and myself.
This feeling of calm helped my mind and body during some of my worst flareups, it’s helped eliminate the panic that would set in during such times.
Whenever I have slacked with my gratitude practice, I have found my body going through tougher and longer flareups – so at least for me, being grateful has helped my health, it’s also helped my relationships with my family, friends, doctors, neighbours… everyone that I know, everyone who has shown care towards me during my struggles – I’ve managed to maintain a level of calm which has mainly come from being appreciative.
It’s important to understand that we don’t need extra conflict in the mind because it can so easily contribute to further bad health.
A bad feeling, a bad interaction, rudeness, anger, aggression – all of these things leave us feeling heavy and burdened, being grateful actually lightens the load – we feel more upbeat, we smile more, we respect what we have so much more.
I feel, we genuinely don’t realise all that has worked out for us in the day, we do really forget to be thankful of those things because we take them for granted – we believe that these are basics that everyone is entitled to, for example clean water, food, access to sanitary pads – these sound like basics, but so many struggle for them.
Relevant Read:
Acknowledging even these basics has played a large role in helping me enjoy my life even when I’m in bed – this reminds me of a line I had read in Daphne Du Maurier’s Rebecca:
“Happiness is not a possession to be prized, it is a quality of thought, a state of mind.”
So best to be appreciative and maintain the quality of thought.
Now, before I ramble on – I want to end with two things:
1. I didn’t want to bombard you with various studies done on gratitude, I genuinely would love for you to give the two practices I shared a go – experience them yourself and see how it helps you – it won’t take longer than five minutes – so please do try.
There is something really nice about seeing what you’re grateful for written down (or typed) – it somehow makes it tangible.
But if you are one for studies, then the earlier Forbes article I quoted from states the various studies done on the increase of empathy, reduction of aggression, healthier bodies and minds despite people having gone through war or those who experienced 9/11 all just by being grateful.
2. A few years back, I created a video of being grateful – maybe seeing my happy face may encourage you to help your health through gratitude. 😀
Do check it out:
Thank you so much for reading and indulging me in this favourite topic of mine.
Tell me what you think about keeping a gratitude journal, or how you practice being grateful or the challenges you faced with it. Maybe you’ve never tried this, so do try and let me know how it goes.
Looking forward to your comments… have a good day 🙂
Pssttt… if you like what I write and are also a social media person then you can follow me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest – whatever works best for you 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I am a patient and have created this platform to share my experiences. This is all purely informative and in no way am I providing medical advice. Please consult a medical professional.
I think that gratitude lessens our struggle against our chronic illness. When we’re focused on being thankful, it doesn’t allow for the negative wishing for things to be other than they are. Struggling against causes stress which in turn causes flare-ups. It’s a daily practice. One of the harder things for me. However, taking time to have gratitude and acceptance is helping me to live more FULLY despite chronic illness.
That’s so true Katie.
Somehow the moments of stress are a sudden reminder that I need to remind myself of the things working for me. I may not be able to ‘cure’ myself, but just by being in a better headspace, I give myself a better chance to live “more FULLY” – just like you said.
Thank you for reading and sharing – it means a lot to me 🙂