A small change in response can make major changes to how people perceive and treat you. Here’s a change that occurred in my life. Listen here to know more, but if you can’t have a listen, then you can read what I’ve said too:
How Saying “I’m always busy” Helped My Mental Health
“Hi! I’m Shruti and this is my podcast space where I speak about life lessons, chronic conditions, mental and physical health tips and experiences.
Please note that this podcast is available in text format on my website allthingsendometriosis.com in the podcast section. And very importantly, this podcast does not aim to substitute any medical advice because I am not a medical professional. I’m just sharing what I’ve observed and learnt over time. And what I mean by medical advice is… umm…both mental and physical medical advice so it doesn’t just have to be a physical health condition.
Okay, now…
I started working at the age of 16.
Work on the weekends and school on the weekdays.
This went on for the next five years of my life, after which I got into modelling for tv commercials, then started my own range of hand painted products – but my health kept deteriorating and I had to stop what I wished to do and found love for tarot reading which has been a very rewarding profession and now it’s more about blogging and content creating for health.
Read Here For:
Podcast Ep 12: Blogging When You Don’t Like Writing [and Have a Chronic Illness!]But in all this, most of my working life has seen me be at home – I’ve worked from home because my health has never allowed it to go any other way for a substantial length of time.
Now the problem with that was, many people did not take the concept of work-from-home seriously. I’d always have someone call me to share their problems or try sneaking in a tarot reading for free!
It would annoy me – but I would struggle to say “no” – I’ve actually done a podcast on saying “no” and how to say it – it’s podcast no. 5, titled Being Taken for Granted & Learning to Say “No”. – in case you wish to give it a listen after this one.
So here I was that these people would take me for granted because I worked from home and my work didn’t appear serious enough for them, yet their work was. Even work of their husband, wife, son or daughter was way more valuable because they went to office. Apparently they had a higher level of accountability to their bosses so they’d rather call me rather than them. Whereas what people didn’t realise was that it’s very tough to work from home and for yourself. It requires a level of focus and a mindset that can be tough to maintain and constant interruptions would throw that balance off to extents that my entire day would go for a toss – and this wasn’t just a one-off thing – it became the habit of many people.
And this attitude of theirs would eat me up – badly.
But why am I blaming them if I’m the one taking it – that’s on me! The other person doesn’t know the state of my health in that given moment or what work I’m in the middle of!
I wanted to change this because my mental and physical health was far more valuable to me. If I’m not using my limited time wisely, how will I earn and sustain myself?!
So now, when someone would call – If they’d asked me – “are you busy?”, I started replying with “I’m always busy – but you tell me, what’s up?!” – because for me, even if I was resting, that was me being busy with myself, me giving my body the time it needed to recuperate.
If someone did not ask me if I was busy, I’d ask them if what they needed to speak of was urgent because I am busy.
99.999999% of the time, it was never urgent or important.
Now at no point was I being arrogant, unfriendly, unkind or rude – I was trying to create a boundary which was of respect and value for my time and effort – which I have very limited amount of and I think I’ve repeated that many times over my podcasts – so, yes I do have very limited time because of having limited energy.
So by saying “I’m always busy” – I was being truthful, because I AM always busy! I am either working, resting, sorting out food – doing things that are important to me at that time. Having had more bad health days than good has also meant that I have found ways to plan and enjoy my times of leisure at home – which again means I’m busy! But they’re all important for me because they help me function – they help me carry out the basics of my life, like standing, walking, having a shower.
This is one of the best things I’ve done for myself.
Plus, a little secret… I am not great with phone calls – unless I’m in love with the person or it’s my immediate family or if it’s a friend who really needs me at that time because phone calls drain a lot of my energy – I experience immense fatigue from listening and talking, which is why this change has worked for me.
The whole point of explaining all this is to really just get one point across – you have to figure out what works for you that helps you to maintain your mental health and keeps you away from cribbing away to yourself!!
Otherwise, mentally you start to live in a space of anger, hate and annoyance at people who may not show respect for your work because you don’t go to a physical place of work and don’t have a boss to report to, whereas doing your own thing has its own set of challenges which need to have its own formula and schedule.
Plus there are those who think it’s easier and luckier to be sick and at home. Yes that happens and I think I’ve done a podcast on that as well.
Relevant Podcast with Transcript:
Podcast Ep 7: “I Wish I Was Ill Like You” – Truth About Chronic IllnessesSo again, I’ll reiterate – if an aspect of behaviour or something hinders or hurts or bothers you then think of how you can help yourself – it could be as simple as a change in response as it was for me,
Because in that phase of life it was people disregarding my time, health and profession. Now with that change in response, it’s so much more balanced and I get the space I need – because, I am always busy!
You know I look forward to hearing all your perspectives so what do you think about this podcast and this topic and how do you relate to it, IF you relate to it? Please keep them coming in. You can get in touch with me through Instagram DM, my Insta is @footprintsnoboundaries or through emails, [email protected].
Thank you for listening! B-byeee”
Read Here For:
Podcast Ep 15: Why is Curiosity Important for Success?
Podcast Ep 21: How I Give & Take Advice | Constructive Criticism
12+ Disabled & Chronic Illness YouTubers to Follow
I’d love to know what you thought of today’s podcast. Please do share your thoughts in the comments section below…
Previous: Podcast 28 – The Struggles of Marketing Yourself
Up Next: Podcast Episode 30 – Addressing the Elephant in My Head
(text version will be posted next Sunday, but if you would like to hear it on Spotify, then you can here)
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Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I am a patient and have created this platform to share my experiences. This is all purely informative and in no way am I providing medical advice. Please consult a medical professional.
So agree with this! People just assume that if you work from home you have nothing to actually do and can be contacted anytime. It’s so strange they think this. Perhaps with people wfh more now it will start to change. Well, hopefully!
Yes, now I’m hoping that with more people having to adopt this way of living will understand it better. Fingers crossed. 🙂
Shruti – the audio and the writing don’t line up. I really enjoyed listening to the audio, which focused on marketing and how so often we fail to try to ‘sell’ our products because we just don’t think that way or we’re afraid of being too pushy. I’m also feeling challenged on that front and doing my best to keep sharing what I’m doing while not feeling like I’m being too ‘salesy’ while still trying to sell what I have to offer. I’m now offering coaching/consulting services and online courses, but getting that information out to the people I’m hoping will buy in is hard for me – and getting myself to share that hasn’t been easy!
I really enjoyed reading over the script you left about working from home and how people sometimes fail to respect that or respect you.
Hope you can straighten out the audio, which I loved.
Thank you so much for pointing that out Alison. I’ve corrected it now. I happened to have repeated the earlier pod in the audio on Marketing Ourselves. I think marketing yourself forces you out of your comfort zone and makes us see ourselves from a different perspective and that can be very challenging. I wish you all the best in coaching/consulting services – reading your blog and the way you explain everything with the right amount of information, I am so sure you’ll be so helpful.
Thank you for taking the time out to listen and have a read 🙂
All excellent tips that I really needed to read today. I read this post last week and forgot to comment. Glad I was able to revisit and make sure I stopped by to say hello and great post!
Hey Shruti this was interesting because I’m exactly of the same mind, too! Sometimes people ask me out on a certain day and I say no, I have plans. (plan was to spend time with myself as scheduled rest block day – that’s a valid real plan imho).
I think the work from home point is being driven in a bit better now with everyone doing it during covid and realising…it isn’t as easy as it seems. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Great post and thoughts as always!