Is it okay to be single? Why do some get bothered by someone else being single? What do single and married people think of all this? Listen here to know more, but if you can’t have a listen, then you can read what I’ve said too:
“You Being Single Makes Me Uncomfortable”
“Helloooo, I’m Shruti and this is my podcast space where I speak about life lessons, chronic conditions, mental and physical health tips and experiences.
Please note that this podcast is available in text format on my website allthingsendometriosis.com in the podcast section. And very very importantly, this podcast does not aim to substitute any medical advice because I am not a medical professional. I’m just sharing what I’ve observed and learnt over time.
It seems to be unnatural to be single and many cultures apply a lot of pressure to getting married and settling down – as if you’re only “settled” if you’re married.
Thankfully I’ve never faced that pressure from my immediate family, but it strangely makes others uncomfortable which I find funny and it doesn’t bother me. Everyone has their way of living and ideas of how best to live life and how best others should live their life. Many can be quite intrusive like that.
So okay, what someone thinks about this doesn’t get to me one bit then why am I even speaking about this?
I’m speaking about this to shed light on just SOME of the things that go in a single person’s mind about this topic and the main reason for this topic will be understood in the end.
Recently, I did a poll on Instagram asking single people if they were asked when they’ll get married? Whether that question bothers them? Whether they like being single? and what they look for in a potential relationship?
It was great – the sort of responses I got were so insightful, but not surprising.
Many were asked when they would get married and it did annoy them and many did like being single.At the end of it, everyone who responded and those who messaged echoed very similar sentiments…
1. They’d love to be in a loving and understanding relationship which doesn’t necessarily need to have the label of marriage with it.
2. If that relationship doesn’t happen, they’re cool with being single too.
3. They’d like people to mind their own business!
But the funniest thing in this poll was the married people that responded!!
It was a poll for single people yet it struck a chord with those who are not single!
They wished they hadn’t married so early, they wished they’d given sexual compatibility more emphasis before marriage, they wished they were single and envied those who are.Their sentiments are no different to what I see around me in real life. I struggle to find examples of marriages where people are actually happy.
They all have their reasons for their marital complications yet most seem to struggle to address it and get past it.
So yes, today, me being single may make someone uncomfortable or believe it to be unnatural, but I am also quietly glad that I am not part of such unhappiness. Also, I am very comfortable to wait to discover that person who I’d build companionship with, someone who will have my back, respect my journey and be happily flirtatious.
There are no set rules. We must never push ourselves onto things that we don’t feel right about. We should listen to our instincts. But yes, even then it could go wrong but that’s how life is. At least you didn’t go against your instincts – you maintained trust in yourself.
I guess today’s podcast is for all those single people who are troubled by this line of questioning – I just wanna say, it’s absolutely fine being single and discovering life as a single person – it’s absolutely fine to marry later in life, or not marry at all – as long as you’re doing what feels right and you’re being truthful to yourself and the other person – that’s if there is another person involved.
There are many layers to this topic and if there is a specific aspect of this you would like me to talk about then please do get touch with me through Instagram – my Insta handle is @footprintsnoboundaries or email me on [email protected].
Good luck everyone. Take care. B-bye”
Read Here For:
- Tips: Dating Someone with a Chronic Illness (like Endometriosis)
- My Thoughts & Tips: Chronic Illness and Relationships
- Podcast Ep 14: Finding Joy in Your Own Company
I’d love to know what you thought of today’s podcast. Please do share your thoughts in the comments section below…
Previous: Podcast Episode 23 – My Plan: The Fear of Ageing With a Chronic Condition
Up Next: Podcast Episode 25 – My Experience: How to be Body Positive?
(text version will be posted next Sunday, but if you would like to hear it on Spotify, then you can here)
If you’re a social media person, then you can follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest or YouTube.
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Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I am a patient and have created this platform to share my experiences. This is all purely informative and in no way am I providing medical advice. Please consult a medical professional.
I once saw a therapist for a single session and he said that being single was an ‘issue’ and that he was concerned with it. As though there is a roadmap of life that we all have to follow! Such a strange thing to think as we are all different and live life at our own pace.
Relationships aren’t easy…and finding the right match for you is important. My primary/nesting partner and I just celebrated 10 years together, and as a poly couple, we have had a lot of interesting relationships to manage on top of our own! One of my previous partners wanted to always have their own space, so their plan for life was to have partners stay over, but maintain their own living space and ‘single lifestyle’. There’s nothing wrong with being single, and nothing wrong with being in one or more loving relationships, but I cannot understand staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy!! That sounds to me like the worst of all options!
My daughter feels the same way. When she worked with the elderly, she’d have so many inappropriate and personal questions about why she’s still single at 31!
Something I read in a research article was very interesting to me – it said that people in arranged marriages were actually happier than those who had a choice! I can kind of imagine why, since it’s a matter of acceptance and compromise – the cornerstone of ANY human relationship in this world. Thanks for this topic – much food for thought.