Finding joy within ourselves can be tough for many. What steps can we take to enjoy our own company? Listen here to know more, but if you can’t have a listen, then you can read what I’ve said too:
Finding Joy in Your Own Company
“Hi I’m Shruti and this is my podcast space where I speak about life lessons, chronic conditions, mental and physical health tips and experiences.You live with yourself for your entire life.
You are that one friend who is with you forever.
No one else can be that for you.
Very early on, I felt I had a decision to make – do I want to spend a fun and peaceful time with myself or do I want to crave for outside company which can never be consistent any way.
So I decided that I really do need to be my guide, my voice of reason… and most importantly, my favourite person to be with. I was going to enjoy being me.
But is it that easy?
Can we really like ourselves enough that we can be our own best friend and find joy in our own company?
Please ask yourself this…right now… do you enjoy your own company? Please remember to put all your problems and achievements aside because they don’t define the real you… and now ask…
“Do I enjoy my own company? Does it bring me joy?”
You know as I say this, I can hear a lot of chronic illness patients say how they’ve learnt and grown to enjoy their company… I hear you all!!
…and without sounding morbid…
All of us are on our own… we need to choose whether we’re good to be alone or are we lonely?
I know a few people who struggle with this.
Some who see me happy to be on my own just believe I’m too independent – so I guess this helps in being independent but for me that’s just a by-product… it’s more about being content and at peace in my own company.
For those who struggle, here’s how you can discover joy in your own company…
1. Go Out on Your Own…
Go to a cafe, watch a movie, go for a walk at the park or the beach or go on holiday on your own – but you’ll need to refrain from chatting with friends and family on the phone – because then you’re not on your own, you’re still looking for people to be with you.
Maybe take a book to a cafe, or write a diary, or just simply enjoy every sip of your coffee/tea/juice… and be.
In times of restricted movement because of bad health or because of the covid19 crisis – I’d suggest to create space in your everyday schedule to take time out for yourself where you have that tea, not talk and be with yourself.
2. Get Involved in Things That Interest You…
…for example, gardening, skydiving, painting, cooking, taking a dance class, or some online class… but all of this without the need of someone you know being there because you want them to.
Do it, because you enjoy it, it gives you pleasure and do it on your own.
3. Take care of your health…
If you are your closest friend, then I’m so sure you would want your friend to be healthy – physically and mentally. So take time out for yourself to eat right, exercise, sleep well and to take care of your hair and skin…
Overall, just respect what you have because if you’re mentally bogged down and physically feeling like you’re dragging yourself then how will you have a good conversation with yourself and enjoy your company?
This leads me to number 4…
So number 4. Motivate Yourself
The conversations we have about ourselves to ourselves, the conversations we have about others to ourselves… all of these are important. If we always believe that we can’t do anything, or that the other person isn’t being fair – all of this is going to stagnate us.
Instead how we motivate ourselves improves our ability to problem solve, to achieve victories and enjoy what we have… there is so much we have that we can explore, that we can enjoy on our own, but sometimes, we just need to motivate ourselves with the right form of conversation.
5. Laugh at Yourself
I am constantly having these laughs at myself – my silliness or my poor jokes. If the other person doesn’t get it or find it funny that never bothers me, I enjoy my humour, whether it’s me talking to myself or others.
I don’t know how true this is for others, but laughing has improved my connect with myself – it adds to the joys of having my own company to live with.
6. Reduce the Pressure to be an Extrovert
This I believe is one of the most important points.
We’re constantly fed that we must meet people, engage, converse about various things, share… even go somewhere together… you’re meant to be involved, you’re meant to be interested…
No no no… you don’t HAVE TO do any of this… what you need to do, is be true to how you feel. Yes if stepping out and meeting friends on occasion makes you happy then you must – but what I’m saying is you don’t have to put pressure on yourself to be an extrovert.
If you’re an introvert, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that – if you’re an extrovert then there’s nothing wrong with that either… the problem arises when we can’t be content in our own company because then as an extrovert we’re reliant on others to be there and as an introvert, we’re reliant on someone who we’re comfortable with being around when we’re amongst extroverts… am I making sense?
I hope I am.
The beauty of being alone is that it teaches you so much about yourself, especially about your strengths and weaknesses – you also realise that you didn’t need to have external company to have enjoyed something.
People will constantly come and go in your life but they can’t be your crutch.
It’s nice to have a support system in life but if you can find yourself to be your best friend then everyone else that comes and goes all become bonus gifts of life – some who add more joy and some who teach us something… but your constant is you…
…So make your constant a good one… a joyous one.
I’ll end this here for now – I might pick up more on this topic and things linked to it in another podcast in the future but for now and as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences – so please message me on Instagram @footprintsnoboundaries or email me on [email protected].
Thank you for listening… b-byee!”
Read Here For:
- My Night-Time Routine While Having a Chronic Illness
- Podcast Ep 11: Manipulation. Manipulator. Manipulated.
- Podcast Ep 5: Being Taken for Granted & Learning to say ‘No’
I’d love to know what you thought of today’s podcast. Please do share your thoughts in the comments section below…
Previous: Podcast Episode 13 – The Art of Getting Angry
Up Next: Podcast Episode 15 – Why is Curiosity Important for Success?
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Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I am a patient and have created this platform to share my experiences. This is all purely informative and in no way am I providing medical advice. Please consult a medical professional.
Great topic for a podcast! before lockdown I used to go to the cinema every few months by myself and really enjoyed it. But some of my friends though it was odd. I liked my own company and being able to choose exactly what I did. As you say, we are our own friend through life.
I loved this episode and post, Shruti! I have always enjoyed (and required) my alone time and recharge best by myself with books or art. Sometimes on days that I am down, I pick up my copy of The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu for motivation and inspiration. What do you like to do for motivation?
You’ve made me think about this more for myself. I think I’m finally getting to the place where I can be on my own and enjoy myself. Meditation really helped me to understand that I could “do nothing” without some sort of distraction going on. This has begun my getting to know myself at a deeper level. It’s really freeing isn’t it?
Thanks for bringing such a crucial topic into the limelight, Shruti. There definitely can be Joy in true solitude and peace, and not an anxious laden aloneness driven by fear 🙂