On to my second podcast where I speak about the habit many of us have which is to compare ourselves to someone else. How do we break this habit? That’s what this podcast is about.
Here’s is a link to the podcast, but if you can’t have a listen, then the text of it is below:
Do You Compare Yourself to Others?
“Hi it’s Shruti from Footprints, No Boundaries… and as promised in my previous podcast, I’ll be speaking about ‘comparisons’ and how we can get out of this vicious cycle.
So, the level of importance we give to what others are upto, how they’re living their lives, how well they’re doing or not doing says a lot about what we think of ourselves.
Let me ask you straight up… and please do answer this to yourself…
Do you compare yourself to someone else? How well someone is doing in their life – be it work, love, finances, what their social life appears to be like, the holidays they go on, the clothes they wear, or even how eloquently they speak or how charming someone can be or just how well they carry themselves… this list can go on and on… and there’s absolutely no end to the sort of comparisons we can find ourselves doing but, are we even fair when we draw out comparisons? When we pull ourselves or others down by comparing?
It seems as if we forget that we’re all different as personalities, experiencing different things – or experiencing the same things differently.
What we fail to realise is that If our perception is different, our way of reacting and doing things will then be different too… Then of course, our paths will be different even if we’re in the same profession as the other person.
We can be inspired by someone, we can be motivated by what someone is achieving – we can be happy for them.
But our path, is our own path – unique to us – we’ve gotta work with our uniqueness.
Yet, we forget all this – sometimes, we compare subconsciously, we have a track playing on in our head, just comparing.
Also, why do we forget that if we’re facing hurdles, then the other person may be facing their own challenges which we don’t get to see.
Why do we find it so easy to believe that the other person is better off…
Well, maybe they are, or maybe they’re not – and how should that even matter…?!
When our focus shifts away from ourselves and moves onto others, we create anxiety, pain, frustration, angst and even dislike… we begin to dislike that person, but more so, we begin to dislike our own life..
Even if this dislike is for a short amount of time, but by doing so, we’ve gone ahead and disrespected what we uniquely are.
It’s very easy to get spiralled into this thinking and forget what we have, what we’re working towards… like I said earlier, being inspired and motivated is great – but comparisons that deviate us from our path don’t help us at all.
So what do we do about it?
1. It’s so important to begin by asking yourself – “what is most important to me? My happiness? My peace of mind? My productivity or feeling dislike for another person or disliking what they’re achieving?”
This clarity is essential because it helps to set you off on one path.
2. Once you’ve decided on your path and if you’ve chosen your own peace of mind and productivity then observe yourself – hear what you’re saying about others and about yourself – and in all this see how you’re feeling about it.
If it’s stuff that doesn’t make you feel either neutral or nice, then you know you’re deviating from your chosen path.
3. Remind yourself of your own qualities – it’s very easy to forget what valuable assets we posses – write them down – and I’m going to strain on this writing part – seeing something written (or typed) helps to reinforce these qualities as actual qualities in our mind.
If, for any reason, you can’t write this down, then record a voice note and hear that.
Initially… for some… when you start writing your qualities, it may seem a little silly or odd or you may find a particular quality not even worthy to note, but no matter what, write it down – it doesn’t matter how big or small it is – it’s all a part of you.
4. Now similarly, write down a list of things you don’t like about yourself…
You need to be realistic here and not mean to yourself.5. Once these two lists are done, understand what the positives are, what is working for you, what you can work on further and what steps can you take to enhance what you have.
Also, when you look at the list of things you don’t like about yourself – notice a couple of things, 1. are you being fair, if you are then 2. is there a way to improve those aspects of yourself…?
It’s also good to see what qualities you need to inculcate to help you stay on your chosen path of ‘peace and productivity’ – what actions you need to take? does it involve doing focussed breathing, quiet time or even more study on a subject that helps your growth, or maybe taking care of a plant… or pursing a hobby which you’ve been wanting to do… or how about, getting better sleep?
List these to understand what steps you can take.
Start with small steps which can be applied easily into your routine – turn those into habits before you look to take larger leaps.
Eventually you will naturally have replaced unfair comparisons with inspiration and compliments for someone else’s success and quietly revel in your own.
It’s a different experience of calm when we feel content with our own direction, when we feel content believing we’ll figure it out as we go along if we stick to the right habits.
I completely understand that achieving peace of mind and productivity isn’t easy, but you can make it a whole load easier when you follow the five steps that I’ve just spoken about. Here’s a quick recap:
- Decide on your path
- Cut the comparisons
- Accept your qualities – enhance the good, reduce the not so good – develop your strengths, work on your weaknesses
- Be appreciative for what you have – it helps you to realise the abundance you live in.and finally,
- Stay focussed on yourself – let the world inspire you, let it motivate you instead of feeling discontentment and jealously towards another.
In alllll that I have said – remember to choose your path, take it a step at a time and trust yourself.
I hope something mentioned today helps you, but…
Please remember nothing I have said here substitutes for professional help – I am not a psychologist or a psychiatrist or a counsellor – I’m someone who’s observed and learnt. So if you feel you need to see a counsellor, then please do.
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That’s it for today, next time time I’ll speak about abundance, how to notice what you have even when things are not going great – and trust me, I know what that’s like – I’m battling multiple chronic conditions and it isn’t easy… yet, this topic is essential for life growth – so listen-out for the next episode…
Before I go… If you wish to share your thoughts, then I’m on Instagram as @footprintsnoboundaries and over email: [email protected]
Thank you for listening! b-bye!”
Read Here For:
- My Thoughts & Tips: Chronic Illness and Relationships
- My Acne Skincare Remedies – Endometriosis & Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
- My Diet for Endometriosis & Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
This was the second episode, but it’s the first topic I’ve tackled in this podcast series, so I would love to know what your thoughts are – the comments section below is all yours…
Up next:
Podcast Episode 3 – How do I recognise the abundance in my life?
Previous:
Podcast Episode 1 – It’s Here! My New Podcast on Health, Self-Help & Life Lessons
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Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I am a patient and have created this platform to share my experiences. This is all purely informative and in no way am I providing medical advice. Please consult a medical professional.
