There are some things I believe young girls that are growing into young women should know. Some things I’ve learnt from family and some things I’ve learnt over time. I’ve tried to put together a short list of 11 things to help all the young ladies out there…
Last year, in an Instagram post of mine, I wrote seven things all girls should know – but over time, I’ve had more points come to mind so I’ve added them to the seven and explained why these are so essential to every young woman out there.
Please note: everything I have written is based on personal experience and everyone reading it is expected to make their own decisions and be responsible for them.
If you would like to watch a video version of this, then you can right here. If not then you can always scroll down to read on! 🙂
So here goes…
11 Things All Girls Should Know
1. Beware of Bullies
There will always be those who will want to dominate and tell you you’re no good, look to embarrass you or even get aggressive with you. Never in any situation should you feel uncomfortable to share your troubles with a parent, teacher, counsellor or someone else you trust.
As you get older and wiser, you may still meet such bullies who may sugar coat their dominance making you feel that they know best. Such subtle manipulations need to be watched out for but for that to happen, for us to be wiser, it’s best we start young and learn what a bully is and again, be open to sharing such problems with those we trust.
Plus, to help develop mental strength, it’s important we stand up for ourselves and learn to say “no”.
Relevant Read:
2. Take Care of You Hair & Skin
I believe that it’s essential to take care of your hair and skin and here’s why.
At no point would you want to feel dependent on makeup or hair straighteners to make you feel or look nice – you may want to apply makeup on random occasions but by taking care of your skin and hair, you naturally feel confident when representing yourself in any situation, even if it’s on short notice.
As a child I was exposed to the rituals of natural skin and hair care, something I continue to follow even today. The best thing about these rituals are that it gives you some me-time and slowly, teaches you to respect what you have. I feel a lot of joy applying something to help my skin and hair and giving it that love.
Also to anyone out there who doesn’t have great skin – neither do I. In fact I have horrible hair damage from medication which I’m working on improving.
So I’ve had acne prone skin because of hormonal imbalances due to PCOS and endometriosis, but I have always worked on my skin to help it out.
If I had covered up my acne with makeup, I would’ve invited more trouble, but by avoiding it, I’ve managed to improve it.
If you wish to read about my natural face pack concoction then you can do that right here:
My Acne Skincare Remedies – Endometriosis & Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome
When it comes to hair-care, a good oil scalp massage helps stimulate the blood vessels and relaxes the muscles too. You can help your hair further by using natural shampoos and conditioners. The usual shampoos and conditioners tend to strip our hair of their natural oils making them limp and brittle which then promotes hair loss at a younger age 🙁
The point is to be kind to what you’ve been blessed with.
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3. Painful Periods are NOT Normal
Having a period is normal. Painful periods are not.
If you feel pain, always be open to sharing this even if it’s with your father.
Help is much needed in such situations as you could be dealing with PCOS, endometriosis, adenomyosis, a fibroid or some other medical condition.
Don’t ignore pain, because you may find that period pain could disrupt your physical, mental, social, professional and financial health in the future, so it’s best to get help from the get-go.
Relevant Read:
4. Wearing Heels is NOT Necessary
Wearing heels and killing your feet is not an essential either. Best to wear things you’re comfortable in – you don’t want to go out and not enjoy yourself because your footwear is an issue (unless you have super-comfortable heels – which I’m not sure exist)!
If you’re wearing heels because you want to look taller or feel more confident – I can understand that, but the quicker we create less dependency on things that cause discomfort the better.
Just to let you know – by wearing heels too often, you could be inviting arthritis, knee pain, hip pain, back pain… and of course there are blisters too.
So I’m good with random heel days, but again, to give yourself such pain – just so unnecessary.
Instead, develop confidence with how you are, no matter what your height – and just for your reference, I’m not tall myself – I’m 5’3″ so I do understand what it feels like to go through this feeling of not being tall enough but then I know people who are 5’5″ and wish they were 5’7″ – basically be happy with what you have.
Respect your working legs and feet – massage them instead! 🙂
5. Treat Everyone Equally
Equality for all is important – don’t be swayed by the extremes of some feminists or any ‘-ists’ who attempt to look “fair” by putting others down. For example some ‘feminists’ believe it’s okay to male-bash. I find it terrible to see some people advocating such dislike towards any gender, age, race, colour…
In recent years, it’s become a fad to put men down and frankly it angers me.
Many women over the decades have fought for their position in society and place of work and even their place at home – many continue to fight this battle, but then, there are people out there who now treat men the same way.
It’s strange.
So please, treat everyone as an individual with equality and not based on any other criteria.
6. Eat Mindfully
Do not starve yourself – ever.
But know what you’re eating and what it does for your body. Whether it’s healthy food or junk, be aware of what your choices are.
We fail to educate ourselves of the very fuel we use to run our body. Once we make it a point to educate ourselves, we’re then making an informed choice – we also somehow, naturally see what we’re eating in a different light.
So for example, I know I cannot have gluten as it aggravates my endometriosis giving me more pain. Now when I see gluten, I see the additional pain the sandwich or cake or biscuit will give me. I see that form of food differently. Therefore, if I still choose to eat the sandwich (maybe because I don’t have another option at that point), I have then made an informed decision knowing the pros and cons.
Please remember – eating and drinking well is the best way (along with exercising) to respect your body. We’re constantly looking for love, appreciation and respect in our lives and we hold so much value in receiving this from others but on most occasions we fail to give this to our body.
Inform yourself and learn about food – it’s a fascinating world with simple solutions to staying healthy, we’ve somehow mentally made it more complex than it is.
Relevant Reading:
7. Allow Yourself to Laugh
Laugh, smile, giggle… don’t hold back otherwise you will only end up stifling the true you.
When I was a around 12 I think, I remember seeing something on TV where a girl is asked to stop laughing because she’s a girl – she wasn’t being allowed to express her joys and enjoy some humour.
Later my mum told me how women are not expected to be heard – it (apparently) shows signs of being uncultured.
I found that shocking because I was always expressive with my joys and to think that people could be denied that – somewhere that thought troubled me.
Which is why, today I say – never stifle your emotions, especially ones that spread happiness.
8. Be Honest
Be honest. No amount of weight loss or perfect body size will ever make you feel as light as honesty will 🙂
Usually what happens is, the moment you tell a lie, you feel compelled to support it with other lies and then the trouble is, you need to remember that lie and every lie around it… it creates an enormous amount of mental burden.
Why not take the easier, but possibly the tougher route in that moment (but better in the long-run), which is to tell the truth?
9. Take Care of Your Teeth
Originally when I had put this post on Instagram, someone commented that I should also include the importance of taking care of your teeth.
And, I agree.
Women tend not to take care of their calcium levels – especially during pregnancy when the child needs more of it to develop healthy bones and end up weakening their gums and teeth.
But even if you’re not looking at pregnancy, more women are more likely to get osteoporosis and arthritis, therefore bone health is important.
Now getting back to teeth – a regular clean up at the dentist and maintaining dental hygiene (brushing your teeth and flossing), can save you from gum disease, painful procedures and weak teeth – best to get into this habit early and take care of what you have.
Thank you Shraddha Shirodkar for reminding us about our teeth!
10. Tell Him How You Feel
There’s a lot of onus on men to tell a girl how he feels about her (that he likes/loves her).
I strongly feel that whatever your gender, it takes a lot of courage to make that move, to put yourself out there, so never knock someone’s effort. If you don’t feel the same, then kindly and respectfully let them know you don’t feel the same way.
But if you’re ever in the position where you would like to tell the guy how you feel, then don’t hold back – tell the person. What’s the worst that can happen – the guy will say “no”, but at least you have your answer and can move on.
Don’t hold back because you’re a girl and somehow it doesn’t show you to be in good light if you do. As long as you’re okay to accept whatever answer comes your way, your gender should not matter.
Life is really short to hold back and not express your feelings. I can understand that none of us want to get hurt but being open allows us to know where we stand.
psst…please DO NOT get obsessive and stalk people – that’s a very unhealthy thing to do – and a waste of time.
Also, you never know the person you like may like you too but was scared just like you. Sometimes, we just need to take a chance.
11. Pay on Dates
We’ve grown up expecting men to open doors and be chivalrous – and they should because it’s nice to treat others nicely and to be treated the same way back.
With women increasingly becoming financially more independent than before (and like I said earlier about equality) – it’s great when women want to treat the man, or at least share the bill.
These can sow important seeds of respect and equality.
And practically, at the end of it, the man has his responsibilities and bills to pay just like the ladies do, so this ends up lightening the load for both.
I’d just like to end by saying… these 11 things don’t cover everything I would like to share, and maybe I’ll add to it over time or maybe do another post – but these are the 11 things I’ve learnt either because my mother blessed me with the knowledge or stuff I’ve learnt along the way.
I hope these 11 things get you girls feeling more confident about growing into women.
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this, so please do share in the comments section below.
If you’re a social media person, then you can follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook or Pinterest.
Ooo… for anyone curious, here’s the original post on Instagram that triggered this longer and more detailed write up.
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Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I am a patient and have created this platform to share my experiences. This is all purely informative and in no way am I providing medical advice. Please consult a medical professional.
I love all these suggestions! Yes especially to painful periods not being normal, eating well adn looking after your skin and hair. And the bullies. Just urgh. I wish I had known that after school there would still be some, but that I didn’t have to put up with it.
Shruti-
These are great! Taking care of ourselves is really important and this post is basically a lovely list of ways for women to do so! We deserve to be comfortable in the skin we’re in, and to be proud of ourselves as we are for who we are, not for meeting some artificial construct of identity.
I actually don’t ‘date’ – instead I hang out with cool people and if it turns into something romantic or sexual, I enjoy that too. Communication is key to all of it, I just personally hate the ‘job interview’ feel that too often accompanies first dates. I don’t like the pressure and I don’t like the presumption that if we aren’t romantically compatible that means that it’s a waste. We all deserve to be happy and your tips are wonderful guidance towards that goal!
I love the tips in this post, especially for all the young ladies out there. Important life lessons!